| Tuesday, April 17th, 2007 |
| 12:08 pm |
wow
i forgot all about this thing i have so much to write but with what little computer time i have i've been bloggin on myspace ( i know i'm so lame) myspace name is andilusch (remember when nate named me that before he died) |
| Sunday, June 11th, 2006 |
| 5:02 pm |
hi everyone miss ya my kids are doing great i hope yours all are too adrianna passed on to 1st grade and alandre to 2nd grade yaya\ i'm gonna be 25 in 11 days shittttt 3 ways are kinda overrated but also kinda realy fun(yes i'm enjoying being single i've decided not to get serious about anyone until my kids are older i hated my parents dating) still talking to matt a few times a week even though he has another girlfriend (his loss) and still just friends with various guys, finding out what i like and dont i've lost 22 pounds since april yay i'm 20 pounds away to prepregnancy weight... or maybe 15 hmmm kids are in chrissys wedding 7/15 my brother is a drunk asshole 24/7 thursday night he was so drunk when he was barfing he passed out and broke the toilet tank with his head and all the water went everywhere... i had to clean so much... feels like i have 3 kids grrrrr Current Mood:  content |
| Tuesday, March 21st, 2006 |
| 5:07 pm |
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| Saturday, February 11th, 2006 |
| 2:22 pm |
hi hi
I'm doing a little better I'm on happy pills which are mking it a little better. My MRI was kinda ok. My brain is pretty much without anymore damage, but the doctor say a little new area on my spine. I was feeling a little odd but I'm doing better now. He said it's all passed now anyway based on the way it looked when the die was injected. I'm actually feeling a lot better physically. Emotionally, too. I talked to Matt this week for about a half of an hour and it was a nice convo. I don't expect to be back together with him but at least I think we're ok. Kids are good. I went to Adrianna's 100th day of kindergarten party on Friday and little kids are so much fun and cute. They kept saying "Adrianna's mom can you help me?" and "Thank you Adrianna's mom." It was cute. I have court on Monday guess they're bringing Alex from jail. I have to help with the Kindergarten Valentines Day party on Tuesday and I have to go back to dr on Wednesday. Thank you to everyone who's written me back on here. I would write more but I'm at my dads. Trace thanks for the Valentines card. LOL I was online on my cell phone for a second. hehehe Current Mood:  okay |
| Saturday, January 21st, 2006 |
| 2:38 pm |
i dont have a lot of time but i wanted to say hi.. my alandre turns 7 on monday!! over at my dads for a birthday party. i have another MRI on the 24th at 12:30. Think of me please. My dr says I should be more stable after 4 months of medicine. But I'm not so he wants to see if I have any more lesions on my brain or thorasic (sp?) spine. I might switch meds. I went to the psychic Wednesday and next time i write i'm gonna expand on that. i'm on anti-depressents now. I dont know if they're working yet but we'll see. Guess it cant hurt. There's so much to say and not enough time but i've been journaling and I will update next week at the library if I have to. Congrats to AMber and Trav. Trace I'm glad to see you're back. I still miss Matt incredibly but I cant cry over it anymore. The psychic LOL gave me a theory about the whole break up and it makes sense to me so I'll just try to accept it that way. Miss all of y'all. Current Mood: okay |
| Thursday, January 5th, 2006 |
| 12:01 pm |
ya
ok my life has come to this, i'm sitting here in the fawkin library, supposed to be at work but i'm so emotionally distraught i keep throwing up (but not for at least an hour so i chanced coming here). i ma so lost in life. i don't know what i want to do. i dont want a job where i'm forced to lie to people, i don't want to settle and be in an unrewarding relationship because i dont wanna be single... sigh. I dont want my kids to not have a dad but I dont want them to have just anyone or to deal too much with the one i have. i dont want to be sick but i cant help it. i hate doctors. i've learned throughout life that if you just tell doctors what they wanna hear, they'll shut up. it's cool. see the thing with throwing up (eww i know i'm sorry) is that i'm so emotionally out of whack i'm making myself feel physically ill. plus i forgot to make my interferon on monday so i went 5 days without a shot and i was reacting pretty badly overnight (fever, shaking). The ugliest thing is i get these humongous red spots anywhere i give myself a shot and they last at least a month. so i take 3 a month x 4 weeks and ewww. i feel horrible. in my drunkeness on new years eve (Zach, Katie and Jay were there) I developed my first true hangover on sunday. goddamnit i'm never drinking belvedere again. I have never drunk like that before. i was so sad about everything including matt. at first i was funny - very very funny. woohoo for drunken playstation 2 and all that but then i got so sad and i freaked jay out and i kept saying "why doesnt he even care about me anymore?" when i know it's my fault. they all told me he's a douchebag and he's the one missing out but i just miss his presence in my life so fawkin much. he was stable, there for me, one of the only people who ever had been. katie kept sayin i should give Jay another chance cuz if he didnt love me he wouldnt be there with me. screw that i know he wants me but i dont want him. we were together in 10th-11th grade. he lied, he cheated and all and i know people like that never change. dont want more drama. have enough. i called a whole hell of a lot of people new years eve- i called matt too. he answered and said who's this and i was like you know who this is and i said happy new year and he said happy new year and hung up and i feel worse. i feel like i'm losing it- the only good thing in life is my kids and i try to give all my energy to that but it's just messed up. i mean i have about 10 good friends in my life and that's good. to be honest it is so hard for me to trust anyone and my heart is soooo damn broken. i've got me some library books to help me think about a few topics on my mind. i miss all my mommy friends. hopefully by feb i'll be back on line. i HAVE to get back to school. i cant afford to repay my student loans at this time and if i'm gonna pay for it i may as well have something to show for it. *vent over* thanks Current Mood:  nauseated |
| Sunday, December 25th, 2005 |
| 9:20 am |
update i guess
i wish i could get over being so bummed about matt.... he really meant a lot to me. but i just have to accept reality. i mean it's to the point where i dont cry but maybe once in a while but i just misss him so much. it's so unsettled. but that's my life. my new job is good. it's hectic and stressful and full of ghetto people, but they are amusing. some people in life just ya cant get rid of... the guy i used to sit with at my first job is in my training class. he had a one time thing way back in the day like when i was 19. now he's married to the same girl who was his girlfriend then and there's some tension in the air. like i cant look at him right cuz i cant believe i did that back then. mistake but hey i guess that's what most of my life has been lol weird- some people you think you'll never see again. my kids are good- alandre will be 7 in 1-23. they both got report cards and alandre's was really good but adrianna needs some work in academics so i've been working with her more. the conference i had with her teachers they told me even in 2 weeks she's improved a lot. i guess school finally clicked. she had only been 5 for 6 days when school started. alandre was 5 1/2 when school started for him. anyway it's been crazy i've been trying to keep in contact with the few people in RL that i really care about. finally got my phone to work last week. my phone number is in the groups message board. i have cingular so it's free if you have it too. ugh i hate familiness. everyone in my family on my dad's side is soo happy except me. i mean i know happinesss in life is what you make of it. i agree i have a good bunch of very good friends but i am just generally not happy. probably has something to do with all these mistakes i've made in life. i'll tell you though becoming chronically ill has made me slow down a lot and not worry about a lot of things and just work on me and the kids. i jsut constantly regret choices i've made and how i've treated people, etc. It's so great my brother has been around, he's one of the only people i can talk to and he understands either cuz he experienced it too at the same time or he just really knows me and how i think. he's been sooo nice to me helping me so much with the kids. We did our traditional spend the night at my dad and his wife's house. my brother was here for a while and my stepsister and her fiancee (getting married in march) Now I'm waiting for them to get it together cuz we always go to this diner for breakfast (lame i know LOL). Sometimes you have to put your coolness aside for your childrens enjoyment. Like this and the fact that i have to take my kids to chuck e cheese for my sons birthday. (My stepmom "jokes" that i better not be in the hossy this time since i was for Adrianna's birthday and they took the kids) i'm going to monday night raw on january 9th LOL in Hershey, PA so look for me if you watch it LOL The Big Show is mah baby daddy. hehehe Hope everyone is having a great christmas. *HUGS* Current Mood: okay |
| Sunday, November 13th, 2005 |
| 3:20 pm |
hi everyone i miss you all. i'll post here cuz i dont have time to go to the group :( i lost internet cuz my mom didnt pay the phone bill, and I'm not paying it. i refuse. she got a job she starts 11/28 so maybe i'll have the inet back soon. i'm at my dads now working on my resume. LOL needs updating. i'm doing better i'm on some pain meds now so i dont feel my legs freaking out quite so bad. i miss you guys very much. adrianna is still behaving very poorly at school and might get kicked out of the all day program. please pray she straightens up. alandre is being very good and loves the fact that my brother lives with us now. i'll update more soon. *hugz* oh yeah i dyed my hair a kinda light brown little reddish color. i'm still not used to it i'm used to dark blonde. i looked in the mirror when i got up in the middle of the night and damn near had a coronary cuz i forgot i looked different. lol Current Mood: okay |
| Sunday, November 6th, 2005 |
| 5:15 pm |
m
i was kinda mean today. i was not in the mood for company and my friend came over and brought me a feel better card and i was bitchy. LOL. NOT ME?!?! *gasp* Well, I mean geeeez. I wasn't in the mood. Besides the obvious problems. Still thinking I had fun yesterday afternoon/early evening. Was missing Matt sooooo badly this morning. Going thru old emails and I was damn near crying again. Ouch. Then I thought about him cuz some people in Indiana got killed in the tornado. Sigh. I liked Indiana. Oh well. This evening was a bit better after being forced to go to Kmart and then having to "critique" people like the stupid people I deal with do. Like I'm all concerned about anyone shopping there but I guess some people have different ways of fighting boredom. Like, um being here? Kids just went to bed so I'm gonna go work on my writing some more. This morning was so fuckin difficult. I had a bunch of pixies of him and all in my email. I really really fuckin miss him. If I can get thru this year, I guess I can get thru anything. But I'm serious, no matter how much fun I have it's never just right anymore. I'm sorry if I complain, but at least here if it's viewed, it's optional and I haven't forced my crap unto anyone else. So neener neener neener. Yeah it's the kinda mood. :P Current Mood: mellow |
| Saturday, November 5th, 2005 |
| 8:14 pm |
yay for free time
i had some time to myself earlier today, 5-9 lol but i took it. I went out with a friend and had a lot of fun. The more I go about my life and have fun with the people i used to hang with before i moved and met Matt is making me better mentally. I always wanted to spend every moment i could talking to matt whenever we could so i seriously like hardly ever went out. I was ok with it, he was probably the only person I was ever was totally faithful to. Part of why I have strong feelings about never being married. I'm totally immature when it comes to that stuff. Well i used to be. Perhaps I've grown up. I do believe I may have. Anyway I had a lot of fun LOL this afternoon. Woohoo. Umm... yeah. I've been inspired to strongly re-organize my book plan and work on it more. Yay I'm kinda happy. I had a lot to say but then I was talking to the hottie in pm and I lost all track of my thoughts. LOL Things are a changing a little in my own little world. Maybe I'll cheer up. I'm pissy about my car but at least it ran long enough to make it to the shop and i didnt have to spend $85 to get it towed. I had to pay my mom's car payment so we had something to ride around in until it gets fixed. GRRRRR at her I'm sick of spending my money on dumbshit. I have some stuff brewing and I'll get back to it more later. Maybe if I start writing my book I'll put some of it to see if i'm totally lame or not. But that's hard. Writing is so close to you, if someone criticizes you it like physically hurts. I Still miss matt, i still love him, i spent an hour this evening reading some old emails and i still am in physical pain over it. I'm gonna dedicate my book to his ass. He got me into this, I need something to help me get over him. When I'm all rich and famous he can BITE ME. And unfortunately, I'll still love him. But the hottie is still the hottie and always will be. That's my little mystery. It's weird how you can care so much for different people in different ways. Current Mood: okay |
| Friday, November 4th, 2005 |
| 7:17 pm |
when it's gonna stop hurting
i wish i could just forget i ever met him. i couldnt even go out tonight cuz I'm still so damn down about it plus my car decided to die today :( I miss Matt so much. I know we could never be the way we were before but I just miss his voice, touch, smile, just him. |
| Thursday, November 3rd, 2005 |
| 5:04 pm |
blah
I feel sometimes like I have nothing to look forward to. When I was with Matt, I looked forward to seeing him, being around him. When it was time to start school, I was looking forward to the kids going back and having big kids. Ummm well I guess I'm kinda lookin forward to trying to go back to school soon, once I can pay off the money I owe from the last quarter. GRRness. Matt was just such a big part of my life. It hurts so bad to go from the level of closeness I feel we had to nothing. Ouch ouch ouch. Physically hurts. Even though it was shitty at the end, no one could ever replace him, he made me learn a lot about myself and made me feel like even though my life has been fucked up, I could still possibly be lovable again. Even though I don't know if I wanna be. I mean I went thru a lot of crazy relationships in the past 0 years and spent most of my time being someone's girlfriend. I mean just with Alex (kids dad) it was 6 years. It is nice being free to do whatever, whenever with whoever. And I've been out a few times in the past month that I've been single. But it's just not the same. There's no fun in it cuz I'm still so sad. I don't know what it was about it, it's apparent he wasn't the one but he was a very special person. He made me a better person, I swear. I've dreamed about talking to him and being around him the past 2 nights and I just wish I could go on and pretend I never knew him as the pain would be nonexistent. GRR. None of my friends seem happy. No one is too excited about anything. You never hear any good news anymore. I'm gonna try to make my own good news. I'm gonna work on my two goals and things will eventually be better. My boss got mad at me today I think because I went above her with a problem she blew me off on and her boss passed it on and they might fix it for me and it was something simple but she blew me off. Then she wouldn't even look at me for the rest of the day. Boohoo. Penny yelled at me kinda today too. I was a little upset but whatever. We're both too busy and stressed. Another girl at work came in and was happy cuz she got engaged and was all happy. Made me think about me and Matt in July. But oh well. Someday I'll be happy I suppose, I mean I think I'm a nice person and I try to be nice to most people so it will all karma-ize itself out? I sure fuckin hope so..... Current Mood:  thoughtful |
| Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005 |
| 4:39 pm |
ugh ugh ugh too much to do at work, making me feel bad for not being caught up. what can ya do? my boss actually asked me how i was feeling today omg whatever. Penny and Lori told me it was like the first time in a long time that I didn't roll into work lookin like death warmed over. I mean I really am just waiting for them to get rid of me. THey know I'm ill. I look it too but at least I don't think my work shows it. I'm proud of my work. Besides being behind, no way I wouldn't be with me being the only person doing my job 24/7 and having 898 open cases. Sheesh. Adrianna's behavior has been troubling. Troubling since August. I miss my sweet daughter so much. She's just a major attitude anymore. I try to give her all the love in the world, most of my free time. Grrr. At least my Alandre has been doing good. I'll get my CD of Halloween pics back Monday I think. Damn store I should have just taken them to Walmart but I'm getting my free roll of film and doubles. LOL. I'm so lame. I still hurt when I think of Matt. It's so hard to be emotionally deserted by someone who was your main source of support. I fear I will forever have a trust problem. I just wanna know why I'm so utterly terrible the whole relationship was not worth salvaging. Maybe I was horrible, but I was and am so fuckin scared. Of everything. Like every morning I wake up and have to think if I can even move. Craziness. Cuz sometimes when I go to get up, it just doesn't work the way I thought it would. I was so upset last night I hyperventilated for the first time ever. I am just so confused My 2 goals for right now- 1- Restart my book. I'm gonna go Saturday and just give myself at least an hour and work on my outline for my book. I believe it'll be therapeutic plus my goal is to have it pretty much finished by 25. Only 8 months left to go... if I'm a couple hundred pages in I'll feel much better. 2- Payoff my money to Kaplan University. Then I can transfer my credits and finish my degree. I mean I have to pay it back anyway so I may as well get the full damn 4 year degree. This is scary because my energy and memory levels are so low. All I can do is make baby steps and hopefully get some of this crap done. I'll like myself so much better then. Love to my mommy friends. Congrats to Renee and Sean on having their baby!! I have another infection so I'm feeling kinda bad. I called the oncall doctor and got a prescription sent in. He said being on all the steroids I've been on is the cause. It messes with your chemistry. So meanwhile I'll go and pee some more blood while I wait for my fam to go pic up my prescription. Ewwy. Always something, huh? Current Mood: sickCurrent Music: scooby doo on boomerang |
| Sunday, October 30th, 2005 |
| 3:55 pm |
duh
duh first sorry i for some reason thought trace's bday was today but it's tomorrow. TODAY is my sad day. Today one year ago I did the most morally disgusting thing I've ever done but it still turned out to be the best decision for the situation. How is that possible? I sound wrong just saying that. All I know is I wish the whole thing never happened and I know that all the stuff that's wrong now has to do with that fact. I havent talked to matt since September 26th. My lame song quotation was inspired by him but I'm mostly beyond the point of crying now. When i told him my situation last week and he chose to immaturely block me and all that told me all I needed to know. I cried because I was so upset that he didn't even care about me as a person but I realized the meaner he can be, the more I realize I have to move on, he doesn't care. If it's my fault or not, it's just over. Nothing can change that. I figured he cared enough about me to maybe see if I'm still alive but whatever. I have bigger problems. I'll get more to them soon right now I'm exhausted to even think about it. But dear journal readers, please think about this for a minute and tell me what you'd do: At the end of November I will no longer have any type of insurance. I have a job but I am a contractor, an hourly employee and do not have any insurance thru my job. It's very hard to find a job I can get hear do to limitations of only being able to work 1st shift. Finding a job is not so hard but this shift thing I just can only work first shift. There is a law in DE where if you have a job, you can only have medicaid now for 24 months ever. It's called extended medicaid for wages. I just got a letter about it Friday. I have a friend. Friend only I have absolutely no attraction for him. He was a boyfriend once. He adores me and tells me constantly how wonderful, beautiful, etc he thinks I am. He is immature and has a lot of weird stuff going on but he wants to marry me for the purpose of having medical insurance. He has a good plan, he's a state employee. I mean normally I would say HELL NO only more pain and drama to my life but THIS IS MY LIFE. If I don't take this medicine (it's $1200 a month) I will continue to get worse and worse and worse. I will probably eventually be paralized since I have spinal lesions and i have legs that get numb and stupid a lot and I may go blind again temporarily or permanently. The medicine is not the cure but it does cut back on the number of relapses I would have. Having just gotten over one this weekend, I don't know if I could continue to just let my problems gradually go away with no medical intervention. I am so so so confused. Which is more important, my happiness or being able to take care of my kids. I mean when they are grown up it's not such a big deal but waiting until 2018 when they are both 18, I just don't know. I don't have anyone who would be willing, able or stable enough to take care of my kids until then. I just don't know. Either way I'm miserable. I don't know what to do. I mean can anyone give me some insight. What else should I consider. I know I can continue to look for jobs but I do end up missing a lot of time because I am so bad off somedays. It really is day to day. If I did get a job with good benefits (even if I married him for only benefit purposes) I'll probably be denied for preexisting conditions. You know what's really sad, half the people with MS are in my exact predicament. They can't afford the medicine so they just have to do whatever their body just does with no medical help, no drugs, no hospital, no $450 neurologist visits. They just get worse and worse. Even if you come back from a relapse, you are never 100% back to the way you were. Maybe 95%. Maybe 40%. The medicine helps supress your immune system so it doesnt attack itself. Once the damage is done, you can't go back. This world fuckin sucks. Whatever you do in life that's wrong, don't ever think you'll be forgiven. It comes back. But at least it's bitten me in the ass and didn't effect my kids. If they were in physical pain, I couldnt deal. Sorry about my vent. Current Mood:  frustrated |
| 3:54 pm |
lame song but sniffle
Empty spaces fill me up with holes Distant faces with no place left to go Without you within me I can’t find no rest Where I’m going is anybody’s guess I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you I’m awake but my world is half asleep I pray for this heart to be unbroken But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete Current Mood:  sad |
| Saturday, October 29th, 2005 |
| 11:54 am |
duh
i wrote what i meant for livejournal in our yahoo group. doh! anyway i guess most of the same people read both LOL the night was Jay coming over for about 4 hours, the dumb nurse coming over and stuff like that. i went over Jay's for a few, came home around 11 and went to bed around 1:30. Kids slept until 9 today OMFG. 12 hours. well 13 1/3 for Adrianna. I feel a lot better already physically and even mentally. Ya know what I've realized though. People especially men can be very mean. I dont know if the person I was talking to yesterday about this was jealous or what but they said Matt must have never loved me to begin with. Ouch I mean I know it's like 90% my fault anyway but I could have sworn he loved me almost the whole time. THeir reasoning is if he ever loved me he would still care about me as a person. He would be calling to see if i'm still alive and all. GOd who knows but some people can say some very hurtful suff. I mean that just makes me feel like I was a fool. It just changed I really do believe we loved each other very much at one point. Well anyway I'm feeling better physically which makes me feel a bit better mentally. I weighed myself last night at Jay's and although i've been going up and down about 15 pounds the pst few weeks it's seems to be continuing to go down a bit. a little slower but yay. not that i think it's bad to be big, big is pretty, only a dog likes a bone but i tend to feel like i have a bit more energy. i dont want to and never will be skinny but i have a certain goal in mind. happy early birthday trace!! Current Mood: okay |
| Thursday, October 27th, 2005 |
| 7:19 pm |
Ugh Adrianna has been so bad. I had to ban her from trick or treatin. I dont want to but she has been so very very bad this week. Actually ever since I got out of the hossy and she started kindergarten. I'm so embarrassed with her behavior. I told you all I got a bear as a get well present from my Lori and today Dorothy and Shirley got me new jammies and slippers (all pink hehe) as a get well present. It was soo sweet. I feel all loved. I saw one of my favoritest people in the world today. I feel so comfy around this person and they make my whole life better. :) Cheers me up. I went out tonight from about 6-now and saw my cutey. That person made me forget about my sorrow about Matt. Of course then on the way home I was listening to the radio and I felt sad again. Don't listen to the radio when your heart hurts. Makes it that much worse. Anyway I wanna thank my cutey for being there for me tonight and always. You're such a damn cutey. P.S. Do you remember some of the stuff you said? LOL You say some funny stuff. hehe Love to mah mommy friends Think of me tomorrow getting my treatment. OWwies. I'll try to come on tomorrow night and say hi. My friend Paul said he might come over instead of going to the football game to keep me company. <3 I really do have some great friends on line and in person. Love all y'all Current Mood: okay |
| Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 |
| 5:45 pm |
Today was kinda nice. Lori took me to dinner at Bugaboo. It was so sweet. Mike paid for it. They're both sweeties. Lori gave me a bear and 3 cards yesterday. All to cheer me up cuz I thought I was gonna be admitted. At least I don't have to do that cuz it's hard to find someone to watch the kids for 3 days. I still miss Matt but I guess its getting a bit easier but it still fuckin hurts like hell. I mean him being mean to me kinda helped right. I mean if he cared about me at all as a person he'd still be concerned a bit right? I know it'll be hard for me to ever trust anyone. It was before but now I'm concerned that all my issues make me beyond desirable to anyone. BUt I don't even care right now. As long as I have my friends I'll live. Sex you can get anywhere right. Well I can LOL. Bt you know how men are. I believe I'm rather scared of it anyway since I have no business ever getting preg and I'm really freakin fertile. Besides my heart is like permanently wounded not only by Matt but by Alex (kids dad). Matt kept telling me I'm not Alex, but you know in the end everyone really does resemble everyone eles. I mean most people whether it's detectable or not is selfish to an extent. I mean I believe most men are out there looking for the ultimate orgasm LOL. And it's really hard to be friends with a lot of girls. Drama. Oh well. I mean whatever. There are some really good people out there and I'm lucky enough to know some of them. I find myself unattracted to all my guys friends with the exception of one who is not available. What can ya do. I don't need relationships anyway. ALl ya get is hurt in the end somehow. I'm not upset about it just realistic. I'm also not into meeting anyone else. I mean I have gotten 2 numbers in the past few weeks but I'm just not interested. I guess I better go. There are 10 freakin people here. Current Mood: okay |
| Tuesday, October 25th, 2005 |
| 3:08 pm |
Yay Yay. I get to do in home infusion. I have to be IVed for a few hours every day from Friday-Sunday. Yay I am a lot happier about that. I still feel like the whole in my heart where Matt was will never be filled. |
| Monday, October 24th, 2005 |
| 6:25 pm |
me
I may end up going back in the hossy tomorrow or for outpatient difusion services. I called my neurologist about my leg, falling a lot, having trouble at times feeling when i have to go potty (i know eww i'm sorry) and just feelin bad. Nice. I just imed Matt on AOL to tell him that and he blocked me (i think) and added a warning to me so now I show up as someone with a warning on AOL. To think I ever thought he loved me. He doesn't give a damn about me at all. Nice. Anyway if I'm not around that's why. I'm not sure what the doctor will decide tomorrow but ya know, whatever. Current Mood:  confused |
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